As with everything there are stages of personal growth.
Knowing and understanding them and how they work in our personal growth journey is very important.
But equally important, is the need to understand the blocks to the personal growth we so desperately aspire to achieve. Sometimes these blocks are so benign and subtle that they sabotage our journey before we even get to the starting blocks!
Let us look at seven of the most common types of blocks to personal growth.
This can help you be aware of them and catch them before they ruin you and all your best efforts. Once one can highlight and eradicate them, or minimise their effect, the stage is set for great things.
Here are a few considerations to make before going further:
1. These blocks, you have control over!
2. They may not be easy to spot at first, but once you are on the journey with awareness, they become more and more obvious.
3. The journey is often hard at first but liberating at the end.
4. Not addressing your blocks will be like tying your legs together before the 100m dash - despite your best efforts you will fall flat on your face!
5. Most importantly, these blocks to personal growth are very common - everyone deals with them from time to time.
If you have highlighted that you have some or all of these, it does NOT mean you are broken or bad. There could be cognitive biases or half-truths you need to address in your thinking.
Before we get into the seven blocks to personal growth, grab a pen and paper and while reading take notes of what comes to mind as you explore these blocks.
Ask yourself:
· Can I highlight areas in my life where they may occur?
· What happens to make me react like this, letting the blocks sabotage my best?
· What happens internally when this happens? How do I feel or think?
· What does it cost me to continue to hold onto these things?
You may want to start a new venture or find a breakthrough in an area of your life.
These blocks may be what is holding you back or could be impacting some areas in life, and not others.
This list by no means includes all the blocks that one can face, however, they are the most common.
So, what are they?
Let’s dive in and find out!
1. Learned Helplessness
“I cannot learn and cannot grow mature or improve.”
Learned helplessness refers to a psychological concept where individuals believe they are incapable of learning, growing, maturing, or improving.
This mindset often stems from past experiences of failure or repeated negative outcomes, leading to a sense of powerlessness and helplessness. This can often leave one feeling hopeless in their ability to grow, start new ventures, or take bold steps towards what they really desire out of life.
For example, imagine you are a student who consistently struggles with mathematics. Despite putting effort into studying, they repeatedly receive low grades. Over time, you may develop a belief that you are inherently bad at math and conclude, "I cannot learn and cannot grow mature or improve." This learned helplessness prevents you from seeking additional support, trying new learning strategies, or exploring alternative approaches to improve your math skills.
Another way you can learn helplessness is constantly being underappreciated or told that you are not worthy, or good, or that you always make mistakes when left alone.
But what is the truth?
You don’t know because you have learned your helplessness rather than your ability or personal genius.
The most subtle part of this block comes when you are no longer doing maths but are faced with something else in life that is challenging at first. Because you may have given in when maths was difficult, you also give in to the helplessness in other areas of life.
You have learned that in the face of challenges or new tasks, the “I cannot,” or “I am not good enough, clever enough, or capable of…” mindset, becomes the learned default.
It may well be that your maths skills are not strong, but it is not true for every aspect of life.
To combat learned helplessness, it is crucial to adopt a growth mindset - replacing the thoughts of “I cannot!” with, "I may face challenges, but I can learn and improve with effort and perseverance."
By adopting this attitude, in our example of the student - the student (“you”) can seek assistance from teachers or tutors, explore different study techniques, and view setbacks as learning opportunities rather than personal failures.
Rather than accepting the falsehood that you cannot do something, this shift empowers you to take control of your growth and overcome obstacles on your journey to personal development.
2. A State of Comparison
“I'm either better or worse than other people.”
A state of comparison is the tendency to constantly compare yourself to others, often leading to the belief that you are either better or worse than others.
This mindset can hinder personal growth and create feelings of insecurity, envy, or superiority. It can also lead to damaging opportunities, weakening relationships, and developing a false self-image.
For instance, imagine someone who constantly compares their career progress to their colleagues. They may think, "I'm either better than or worse than other people."
This mindset can lead to negative emotions such as jealousy or low self-worth.
It may also result in a fear of failure or reluctance to take risks, as the focus is primarily on outperforming others rather than personal growth.
This can be evident not only in our workplaces but also in how we relate to our family members, communities, sports teams, church members, cultures, and countries – such as comparing people's looks, abilities, finances, or blessings.
This means we can spend too much time worried about other people and not enough time focusing on important matters for personal growth.
Sadly, much of the advertising world plays on this aspect to highlight your ‘need’ to buy their products - not unaware of how costly this impacts the rest of your life.
To overcome this block to personal growth, it is essential to strengthen self-compassion and embrace individuality. The replacement thought could be: "I am on my unique journey, and my growth and achievements are not defined by others."
This shift encourages you to focus on your progress, set personal goals, and celebrate your accomplishments. It also allows for a more constructive perspective, where self-improvement becomes the primary focus rather than constantly comparing yourself to others.
By embracing personal growth without the burden of comparison, you can create a more fulfilling and authentic path for yourself.
3. Knowledge Without Context
“Knowledge is irrelevant until it becomes an output.”
Knowledge without context refers to possessing information or facts without understanding their significance or application. The belief that "knowledge is irrelevant until it becomes an output" suggests that knowledge holds little value unless it is actively applied or put into practice.
For instance, imagine someone who constantly reads books on various subjects but fails to apply that knowledge in real-life situations. They may think, "Knowledge is irrelevant until it becomes an output." In this case, the accumulation of knowledge becomes futile if it remains unutilized and disconnected from application.
Often, we can say “That was a useless piece of information” or “I didn’t need to learn that. I will never use that in life!”
To combat this mindset, it is important to recognize that knowledge holds inherent value, even without immediate application.
The replacement thought could be, "This knowledge enriches my understanding and can be valuable in unexpected ways."
This shift encourages one to embrace continuous learning and to appreciate the broader perspective and insights gained from knowledge, regardless of immediate output.
It is essential, however, to seek opportunities to apply knowledge, bridging the gap between theory and practice. This active application of knowledge enhances practical understanding, leading to deeper wisdom and greater impact.
By actively applying knowledge, engaging in discussions, and pursuing relevant experiences, one can enhance their understanding and contribute meaningfully to their personal growth and the world around them.
Emphasizing the significance of both acquiring knowledge and applying it can lead to a more holistic and impactful approach to personal development. It also leads to greater congruence of character based not just on our words but also on our actions.
Why is this important?
In our pursuit of personal growth, we can know all the right things and have all the correct knowledge about mindset and positive psychology. Even though this knowledge is helpful to have in certain circumstances, it generally means naught, if not applied in a real, practical sense.
4. Fate Determines Outcomes
“Nothing changes until we commit to growth and change.”
"Fate determines outcomes" is a belief that suggests external influences or circumstances dictate the results of our lives, and we have little control over our destiny.
The statement "Nothing changes until we commit to growth and change" challenges this notion, emphasizing that personal growth and intentional change are essential for transformation.
For example, imagine someone who feels trapped in a repetitive cycle of unfulfilling relationships. They may attribute their lack of happiness to fate or external factors, believing that their romantic outcomes are predetermined. However, by adopting the mindset that "Nothing changes until we commit to growth and change," you recognize the power you have to shape your own path.
By committing to growth and change, you can actively work towards improving yourself and your circumstances.
This might involve self-reflection, coaching, or learning new relationship skills. Instead of resigning yourself to fate, take responsibility for your development and actively seek positive changes.
By embracing the idea that personal growth and intentional change are necessary, you empower yourself to break free from limiting beliefs and take control of your destiny.
You recognize that through commitment, effort, and a willingness to change, you can create new opportunities, improve your circumstances, and shape a more fulfilling future.
5. Unrecognised Opportunity
“I resist challenges instead of embracing the scope for growth.”
Unrecognized opportunity refers to our tendency to resist challenges and overlook the potential for personal growth.
When we “resist challenges instead of embracing the scope for growth,” we limit our progress and hinder our personal development.
Consider this example.
Imagine you have the opportunity to learn a new skill or take on a challenging project at work, but you feel hesitant and doubt your abilities. You find yourself thinking: "I resist challenges instead of embracing the scope for growth." As a result, you may miss out on valuable opportunities to expand your skill set, gain confidence, and achieve personal growth.
To eliminate this block to personal growth, it's important to adopt a replacement thought such as: "I embrace challenges as opportunities for personal growth and development."
This shift encourages you to approach challenges with a growth-oriented mindset, recognizing that challenges provide a chance to learn, improve, and discover your potential.
It could help you embrace challenges, take risks, and push beyond your comfort zone.
To help you get there, you may want to enrol in a course, seek guidance or support from a coach or mentor, or join a supportive community.
By actively embracing the scope for growth, you can unlock new opportunities, enhance your skills, and encourage personal and professional advancement.
6. Misguided Motivation
“I want to make money, make a name, or make a difference.”
Misguided motivation refers to when we aspire for success, solely driven by external factors, such as making money, gaining fame, or making a difference.
When we believe "I want to make money, make a name, or make a difference," our focus becomes narrow, often neglecting personal fulfilment and growth.
For instance, let’s imagine you have a strong desire to make money as your primary motivation. You may prioritize financial success more than anything else and disregard other aspects, such as life satisfaction or meaningful contributions. You often find yourself thinking, "I want to make money, make a name, or make a difference."
This motivation may help you in the short term but in the long term, a sense of dissatisfaction, resentment or an unfulfilled heart may become your reality, asking yourself “I have wealth, but who am I?” or “What have I sacrificed? And what was that all for?”
To overcome this mindset, it's important to cultivate a more holistic and intrinsic form of motivation.
Instead, consider the replacement thought: "I want to pursue my passions, contribute positively, and find personal fulfilment while growing strong meaningful relationships."
This shift encourages you to align your goals with your values, interests, and aspirations, prioritizing internal fulfilment rather than being solely driven by external markers of success. This ultimately gives you the best chance for a rich soulful satisfaction in life.
You can begin to experience a more fulfilling and balanced journey focused on personal growth while pursuing genuine passions and seeking opportunities to make a positive impact.
This may involve exploring new hobbies, volunteering, or engaging in meaningful work that aligns with your values. By embracing a purpose-driven life, you can develop greater satisfaction from your pursuits, make a lasting impact, and achieve a sense of fulfilment beyond mere external markers of success. A fulfilment that you can take with you in your later years in life.
7. Limiting Language Patterns
“I must articulate my growth for it to be understood by others.”
This block to personal growth may seem a little obscure to some but it is very important to understand and irradicate.
It can affect our growth in all aspects and can create greater resistance. It impacts all the above as blocks and other areas not covered in this article.
Limiting language patterns refers to the self-imposed beliefs or assumptions we have about how we communicate our personal growth and progress to others.
When we believe "I must articulate my growth for it to be understood by others," we limit ourselves by assuming that our growth can only be recognized if we explicitly express it.
For instance, let's imagine you feel the need to constantly talk about your personal growth and accomplishments with others. You hold the belief, that "I must articulate my growth for it to be understood by others." This mindset may lead you to seek external validation and to rely on the approval of others to validate your progress.
Furthermore, if we are not gaining the desired response when articulating our growth and journey, we can be left feeling despondent. Many times, when we are experiencing growth and transformation, along the way, people may recognise the change in us and throw stones at our successes - all to help them justify their own shortcomings. This can be a great stumbling block to your growth.
To overcome this limiting mindset, it's important to embrace the idea that personal growth is a deeply internal and individual experience.
Instead, consider the replacement thought: "My personal growth is felt and seen by me, regardless of whether I articulate it to others."
By recognizing that personal growth is not dependent on external validation, you can focus on your own journey of personal growth.
Prioritize self-reflection, set meaningful goals, and celebrate your progress without relying on others' understanding or approval.
Internalise and appreciate personal growth for its intrinsic value. By shifting the focus inwardly, you ground your sense of self-worth. With Independence, and confidence in your progress, your transformation will manifest into your world and external validation will be recognizable authentically due to your influence in the world. This creates a positive feedback loop, accurately reflecting your progress.
Some Final Thoughts
You have gone through the seven most common blocks to personal growth and have applied the self-evaluating questions posed at the beginning of this article.
Now, go back and re-evaluate your answers and commit to constantly challenging and addressing the block you identified.
Get specific in how you let these blocks into your life and get specific in your plans to overcome and excel.
Remember that "nothing changes until we commit to growth and change."
If needed, seek support (agenda free) where you need it, seek coaching, or join a power group or community excelling where you want to grow.
It is your life! Don’t let life happen to you. Create yourself into who you want it to be!
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